DOGS

Dogs are a lot. Nay, puppies are a lot. They require all of the attention all of the time and if you are not giving it to them at that time when they are demanding it, they go absolutely nuts, which in turn, drives you (or in this particular case, me) nuts. As described in my previous post, my girlfriend got a dog. Specifically, a deaf puppy. There are already many challenges with raising a puppy, as most puppies have risen from a sharp-toothed hell and are determined to make sure the skin that is left on your hands and feet is sad and tattered like an old war flag. If a small child ran up and bit your hands and feet like puppies do, you would either punt the child (at least going for distance) or call the authorities that be to remove the child. With puppies, we for some reason accept this and we are all like, "oh, he’s just a puppy.” And I am just a human who likes his thumbs/hands.

The caveat to this whole rant is that I still adore this dog. He is a pain in my ass for basically the whole fucking day but he’s so damn cute that I can’t stay that mad at him.

I do not ask for a lot, but if we could make these dangerous baracuda darts a little less bloodthirsty and a little more marshmallow fluff of happiness and joy, I think that would be solid.

For now, I am gonna go bandage my hands.

Jonathan